While Lizzo has historically dominated the pop music charts with her ballads of self-love, the “Truth Hurts” singer has accidentally invented a new way for listeners to practice self-hatred: listening to her newest album. “B*TCH,” Lizzo’s fifth studio album, is her first record to not chart on the U.S. Billboard 200 since her 2015 album, “Big Grrrl Small World.”
The record opens with “A Toast,” welcoming listeners with a grand orchestra reminiscent of an old Hollywood score. But while the intro promises a grandiose opening track, all hopes for the remainder of the piece are quickly dashed by its mediocre first verse and chorus. Lizzo sings dull lyrics about finding herself after a failed relationship, extending “a toast to waste of time / and all the energy I put into these people.”
While the first half of the song is simply average, it soon crosses the line into cringeworthy. “I hope you find yourself / And that you get what you deserve / B*tches tap dancing on my last nerves, ooh,” she sings in the second verse.
In “Don’t Make Me Love U,” the album’s third track, the singer makes a brief comeback. The song blends elements of ’70s disco and ’80s synths into a musically intriguing three and a half minutes. Unfortunately, the song’s lyrics have the emotional depth of a prescription pill’s advertising jingle.
“Don’t make me love you (Oh) / If you just gon’ change your mind / Don’t waste my time,” Lizzo sings.
Much of the record’s production takes inspiration from a variety of genres and musical influences, making the instrumental composition of the project at least moderately engaging. Songs like “Sexy Ladies (featuring UCB),” “Too Nice” and “Goodmorning!” are all pleasant additions to a Spotify-generated “feel-good Monday morning” playlist.
In “Whose Hair Is This,” there are even a few surprising lyrically satisfying moments, with Lizzo singing “She’s clearly got expensive taste / ’Cause this is from a custom-made / Bust down, cherry brown / Shorty probably put some money down.”
But as much as the interesting production choices — such as a delightful flute solo at the end of “Too Nice” — try to make up for the album’s dull, impassive and occasionally awkward lyrics, there is no escaping this trainwreck. The blundered lyricism overshadows any of the tracks’ potential promise.
“She Stole My Man” and “Like a Crime” are particularly glaring cases of this substandard lyricism. For example, in the former, Lizzo opens the chorus with “she stole my man / I hate that b*tch forever” before gracelessly adding in the second verse that “she’s so pretty, obvi’, Regina George / What about me, Cady? I’m f—ing gorg’.” For a singer who has made a career off of female empowerment, calling another woman a “b*tch” is disappointing.
In “Like a Crime,” the singer pairs a touching, acoustic guitar with emotionally incongruous phrases such as “me and my period fighting to the death.”
At the end of the day, the music of “B*TCH” would have been far better suited to a series of singles rather than a full-fledged album. This forced attempt at creating a full-length album out of only one or two good tracks makes the project feel incohesive, awkward and full of obvious filler.
Ann Gray Golpira is a Section Editor covering Arts & Culture. She is from Norfolk, Virginia and plans on concentrating in both International and Public Affairs and Anthropology. Outside of The Herald, you can find her writing, recording and producing her original music.
